Funeral Eulogies Friday, June 5 2015

Savannah Whitington, Gaines’ Sister

Savannah read Gaines' Prewriting Exercise, we found it in his room before the funeral.

Most loyal to parents bc (they) mean everything to me.
Friends would say greatest trait is persuasion.
Parents/siblings would say greatest trait is perseverance.
I want to be (a) business man when older (environmental/financial).
Quirkiest trait about me is love/interest for cars/literature.
Happiest when everyone around me is happy.
When I met my 8th grade English teacher, taught me not to give up and I discovered how far I can push myself.
When I studied Environmental Science the first time, I realized that it helped me understand the importance of my surroundings.
Character in literature most like me is Jay Gatsby because we both have sentimentality in common.
When I speak the French language it connects me to others by allowing me to relate to them.
When I travel my greatest joy is to see new cultures.
I study other languages because I hope to pursue some sort of International business.
When I stood in front of the Eiffel Tower it made me realize there's hope in the world.
My favorite equation in math is Gauss' theory because it turns a bigger picture into something simple.
If you watch me work a math problem you will realize how dedicated I am to solving it.
Favorite mathematician is Gauss because he taught me how to turn complex ideas into simple ones.
I would most like to have dinner with Elon Musk, we would discuss cars, business, environmental concerns.
History taught me the lesson that mistakes should be learned from.
Favorite point in History to study is World War II because of the interesting war strategies deployed by major countries.
If I could be any person in History it would be Alexander the Great because we are both strategical men that like to lead.

Montana Whitington, Gaines’ Sister

Hopefully this story is “religiously correct” to tell in a Catholic Church.

The story is of a woman who came to the Buddha in great anguish, carrying her dead child, pleading him to bring the child back to life. The Buddha said "bring to me a mustard seed from any household where no-one had ever died and I will fulfill your wish." The woman's attempt to search for such seed from houses were in vain. Of course she could not find any household in which no-one had ever died and suddenly she realized the univers-ality of death.

When someone close to you passes away, it strongly reminds you of the impermanence of life. We will adjust to living not with Gaines, but for Gaines. Not with his physical presence, but with his spiritual presence.

I would like to share a few choice sibling memories:

1.   When Gaines was very young, like “diapers stage,” we would give him baths in our master bedroom tub. One bath-time, we walked out of the room to grab towels, and came back in to see the most impressive urine trajectory I have seen to date. It was in so many words….a fountain of youth. Years later, I realized at that moment he had the same smile on his face that he had after throwing me in the pool.
2.   Fast-forward a few years and my mom was having trouble coming to grips with cutting Gaines’ hair for the first time. It was curly and blonde, just like his sisters. When people started mistaking him for a girl, we knew it was time for Moni and Savvy to reclaim the “best hair in the family” award.
3.   Gaines liked getting his hair cut so much that one-day he decided he could do it himself. Thinking he was innocently playing Nintendo, I came downstairs to discover Gaines had taken his dreams of a shaved head into his own hands. He stood wide-eyed, holding scissors and chunks of his blonde hair. My mom had no choice but to shave his head for the summer - just like he wanted.
4.   But that wasn’t the end of our cosmetic-related mishaps. While our parents were out on date night, we decided to play “Three Little Monkey’s, jumping on the bed.” It suddenly seemed so right. I had a sister, I had a brother, and I had me - three little monkeys. I pushed Savannah off first, and then it was mono y mono. Since Gaines was still smaller than me at that time, I easily shoved him off the bead. He cracked his forehead wide open, and ten stitches later received his first scar. One fell off and cracked his head.

During my college years, each time I visited Memphis, Gaines’ beard would be fuller and his intellect more mature. When we were young, I’d pick on Gaines to gain attention or get a reaction. Now, I picked on him to make him stronger, hoping he would learn from my own mistakes, and see the same light I saw in his future.

Gaines, I know you're flying around in peace with all those other teenage kids that grew wings too soon, ready to stand guard as our angel. If me, Frank, Mary, and Savvy had known when you were born that we'd only have you around for 18 years, we still would have kept you.

Life is just shitty sometimes, and we will miss you forever. So, I’ll see you in 70 years, give or take a few.

Love,
Moni

AnNa Apollonia, Girlfriend and Best Friend.

Matthew chapter five verse four, “blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.”

Frank Gaines Whitington, I choose to believe that you can hear me right now- - that you can hear all of us. I choose to believe that you are watching over your beautiful family and friends. And I want to tell you that you are loved more dearly than anyone I have ever known. You were the sun to a lot of people, but baby, you were also the world to the people closest to you.

I have never known someone so protective, caring, and loyal. I have never known someone so passionate and bright whose rays have been able to touch the hearts of so many. And I believe that you were able to do that because of your amazing family and the people who were like your family. I feel lucky to have gotten the privilege of knowing them, but more so, I feel utterly blessed I have gotten the privilege of knowing you, of knowing your heart, your soul, and your love.

I remember loving you more and more with every second I spent with you and every new detail I discovered about you. I will never forget the way you looked at me or the way you made me feel love like I have never felt before. You made everyone feel so, so special. You made everyone feel wanted, and, Gaines, there isn’t anyone on this planet who could do that the way you could. You were my best friend and you gave me your heart just like I gave you mine. That is something I cannot and will not ever forget.

So in memory of you, I will live my life the way you would’ve wanted me to and I will encourage others to do the same. From May 29th on, I will live courageously and boldly just the way you did. I will aspire to be a better person and as giving as you were to everyone you knew. Most of all, I will remember you the way you would have wanted me to. We will all remember the man who had qualities that no other human being possessed. The man who never lost a fight to a brother, the man who saved a lot of people without knowing it, and the man who loved so ferociously and passionately that those who knew him became better people.

Gaines baby, I will miss the way you smiled when you told me you loved me. I will miss your real laugh—the deep one that came from your belly. I will miss your beautiful blue eyes that lit up my world. I will miss the man who showed me how to love and how to live.

Gaines is always with us. Gaines will always be in our hearts and the memories of him in our minds. My angel, you will always be cherished. I love you to the moon and back times infinity times infinity. I’ll be seeing you again.

Pierce Jones. Best of friends, Memphis University School class of 2015.

How do you summarize a friendship on just a few pages? How do you fully explain the importance of your best friend? You can’t. Gaines was a much better writer than I could ever be, so I wish he could’ve helped me write this speech…but here’s my best shot at it.

Gaines didn’t live a long life, but the life that he did live was a full one, surrounded by people that he loved just as much as they loved him. He had the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met and a smile that gave you one too.

When he was around you knew everything was going to be alright. He would give you the shirt off of his back and if you lost that one he’d punch you in the arm and give you another one.

One of his best qualities though was being a great listener. He truly cared about what you had to say or what you might be going through and his advice was spot on almost every time. In memory of him I’m going to try and smile a little bit more and go the extra mile to make everyone feel welcome.

I learned so much from him in the past four years. He taught me to value each and every person and to take care of the ones you love.

He’s our guardian angel now and I look forward to seeing him again one day.

“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.”

Thanks for the memories buddy.

Gaines’ English Teacher at Memphis University School (MUS)

Ms. Whitington,

I would be honored to speak on your brother’s behalf; however, I will be unable to make it to the Visitation. I will certainly be there for the funeral, though.

Having said that, I would like to say that Gaines was a pleasure to teach and to know. I, of course, knew him both in and out of the academic setting, and in that time, I got to see Gaines develop from a scrappy seventh grader into a conscientious scholar dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge for its own sake.

I watched as he often took the initiative to lead open forum discussions within my Short Story class and did so with eloquence, pushing the others within the group to find deeper meanings and truer analysis of the works covered.

He was an extremely capable student who would rise to meet any challenge with efficiency and astuteness. Consistently well-prepared, Gaines had no trouble adapting to any project given him. In turn, his contributions were thoughtful and geared to helping others increase their understanding. His intellectual depth and consideration for his peers is surely an impressive trait in an American high school student. Further, Gaines’ keen eye for detail as poetry editor on the literary magazine, The MUSE, was an invaluable asset.

But perhaps most importantly, Gaines’ quiet example of genuine friendship has helped to set the tone for how one lives within a community. His loyalty was fierce and his kindness knew no bounds.

Ever mindful of what it means to be a “gentleman,” Gaines sought to live the Aristotelian idea of virtuous activity of being human well…even in those moments when he didn’t…and that makes all the difference.

I will miss him terribly, and I will keep your family in my daily thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely,
Spencer

Caroline Moses. Friend of Gaines. Saint Agnes Academy class of 2015.

Frank Gaines Whitington was the most frustrating, stubborn, human being I have ever met. He always insisted that he was right about everything except for the very few rare occasions that he knew he was wrong. In that case, he just didn’t say anything. However, I have never met someone who was more caring, supportive, and loving than this man. Gaines had the biggest heart and always wore it on his sleeve. He never failed to put the needs of his family and friends in front of his own. He would go through hell and back if he ever knew that anyone was in any type of trouble and needed help. He was the type of man that I was always thought only existed in stories and movies, but he obviously proved me wrong.

Gaines,

There aren’t enough ways to thank you for the impact you’ve had on my life. Thank you for teaching me how to pass English, even if you absolutely did butcher my papers and continuously point out my grammatical errors in my texts. Thank you for teaching me always to value myself and never to settle for less than what I deserve. Thank you for brining so many wonderful people into my life that I will cherish forever. But most of all, thank you for teaching me what it is like to be loved. I am so privileged that I had the honor of witnessing your undeniable love for your family, Anna, and your friends. I thank God everyday that I can call you my best friend. You never failed to make me laugh and feel loved when I most needed you. Whenever I had to deal with something difficult, whether it was school, work, or personal, you always told me that you believed in me and to make you proud. Frank Gaines Whitington, I promise to make you so very proud everyday of my life. You are always with me in my heart. I love you more than words can begin to describe. And finally, Gaines, thank you for being my angel.