"To the murderer of my son, did you know?"
Did you know that when he was a boy we called him “little Napoleon” because he walked around and slept with his right hand over his heart and under his shirt? Similar to Napoleon Bonaparte, and many other portraits of famous men, Now my daughters think it was prophetic.
Did you know this blonde-haired blue-eyed beautiful boy received a golden retriever from Santa when he was six and he named him Lightening? That his second dog Fannie Mae, a bloodhound, howled and cried for a fortnight when her master did not come home?
Did you know one of his favorite places was Heber Springs and he wrote a beautiful college essay relating personal experiences he had there and that he was fly fishing on Greers Ferry Lake the week before?
Did you know he was a gold standard athlete and when he was twelve he hit a home run for his father on Father’s Day?
Did you know he prayed in Rome and after saying our blessing before meals we would have to wait for him to finish his extra prayer for the souls of the faithfully departed. Did you know he celebrated his tenth Birthday at Disneyland Paris, threw coins in all the fountains, climbed the Eiffel tower and Notre Dame? That he stood under the Arc de Triomphe watching the tour de France, Sat on his 1996 vintage step at a cave in Champagne, walked Pompeii and Paestum, floated the canals of Venice? He swam in the Atlantic, Pacific, Gulf of Mexico. He bathed in the Mediterranean, the Adriatic, and the Tyrrhenian Sea.
Did you know he loved to visit his two sisters in California and was headed to school in mountains of Colorado?
Did you know of the countless stories of his selfless acts for others? They called him their Gatsby but he never stole another’s thunder. That he let a younger friend play his football position when the boy’s father was in the hospital. That he helped an older boy with no father and a sick mother making sure he had a Christmas and that he knew white people do care. Did you know he was a leader and gentleman that wrote poetry, short stories, and speeches for others? Did you know many claimed him to be their best friend? Did you know I called him my Gainey man?
Do you know you stole his promise? Do you know about the hole this leaves in his family’s hearts? Do you know you stole his life? Do you know his memory lives strong in so many?
Did you think about the sanctity of life? Of what now will never be?
Did you know that of course he was not perfect, not free of sin but that his consciousness flows free and yours will dwindle away? Did you know his consciousness was too big for his body. Did you know I hope you find redemption before the debt eats you away...Tewari, Tiwari means versed in three vedas which you are not, but your darkness has shone light upon my path... Humans be mindful of your actions!
Did you know you just add to the questions of the human condition, morals, ethics, humanity, culture, society. The question of devolving intelligence, public education, poverty, poverty of mind, mental health and control of the criminal element in a failing criminal justice system. Local government failure with two competing departments, incompetence, lack of communication, lack of education and training, and an overwhelmed disrespected force. Multiply this from street to street, city to city, to our national war machine government out of control. The great question of the American experiment and its coming failure weighs heavier on me now, for all I can see is the coming fall of our Rome.
Do you know I know there will be no earthly justice. Your defense attorney will plea bargain for you, the young repeat offender, and you will be back on mean streets. Do you know I want to tell others this can happen to them and I am scared for those that must stay and function in this city? That his family had many struggles just like yours but we overcame and did not succumb. That I have parented many children and that I wish I could have affected you.
Did you know the church was overflowing with mourners being turned away? That the Bishop and ten priests including his uncle presided.That Monsignor spoke of the many tragic young losses our community has had in 2015 and eloquently let the young people know the importance of being prepared. Did you know that his football team wore their red jerseys? That his closest friends had to be pallbearers? That two weeks before he had given them all engraved brass compasses for graduation? Did you know young men had to find voices to sing ‘Yesterday’ acapella in front of his body laid out in his time capsule?
Did you know of his healthy ego, his devil may care attitude that made him a leader? He was the little prince teaching adults, too. Did you know his core group of friends were angry with one in the group and started ostracizing him so he had a roast of this friend and through his actions they came together again. He took care of his things and his people!
Did you know his sisters had to eulogize him? That the love we shared with him very few achieve and experience. Did you know his girlfriend and long time friends eulogized him, read enduring letters from teachers and from men of great standing for him? That his coach spoke of his gallant little victories? Did you know a neighbor from his old neighborhood shared his recent encounter impressed by a young man that reintroduced himself and spoke to him respectfully.
Did you know his friends gathered in a celebration of his life with a candlelight vigil? Did you know they decorated his parking spot on campus and took to social media with pictures #flyhighgaines? Did you know his sister drew a large Nautilus on canvas and everyone left a memory of him in each chamber? Did you know Gaines left a beautiful memory and in his brief 18 years 10 months and 10 days. He lived large, loved hard, and left a huge impact on this world and he will lead us into the unknown as he lead us in life.
Did you know he loved nature and felt a strong pull to environmental issues? Did you know we hope to memorialize him with Gaines’ Greenhouse a teaching greenhouse and have his poem DRIP written in stone?
by Mary Whitington, mother of Frank Gaines Whitington